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盗まれた惑星(ほし) - 第1話 -

「わあ、ここが香織ちゃんの部屋かあ」
「やだ。あんまりじろじろ見ないでもらえる?」
「女の子の部屋って初めてなんだよね(どきどき)」
「もう、数学教えてくれっていうのは口実だったわけ?」
「まさか、それは本当。早速はじめようか」
「……でね、これが……でしょ?」
「……」
「……だからここがこうなって……坂口くん、聞いてる?」
「香織ちゃん!」
「きゃあっ」
「僕は、僕は前から君のことを!」
「だめよ、ぜったいだめっ!」
「もうがまんできない。愛してるんだ!」
「ひどいっ 坂口君のばかっ!」
「はぁはぁ」
「ひっく、ひっく。あ、そこは!」
「……!?」
「さあさあ一休みしたら……あなたたちっ、何してるの!?」
「ママ!」
「ぎくっ!」
「いますぐ娘の上からどきなさい。3秒でどかないと撃つわよ」
「ママ、乱暴はよして」
「乱暴されてるのはあなたでしょおバカさん。2、1……」
「どきます!よけます!」
「よくも大事な娘を傷ものに。この責任はどう取るつもり?」
「いえ、僕はまだなにも。彼女のパンツを降ろし、大股開きにしていざ、というときに踏み込まれたものですから」

「ま-っ!あなたは女の貞操の根拠を処女膜の有無にのみ求めようというの! 思いがけず性器を開陳させられた年端もいかぬ娘の気持ちはどうでもいいというわけ!?」


「ママ、あたし恥ずかしい……」

「当たり前です。これが平気でいられますか。平気でいられるような娘なら私が斬って捨てますっ」

 

「ま、待ってください。責任論はともかく、僕は香織さんを愛しています。香織さんとは将来結婚したいと思っているんです。このような場で申し上げるのは残念ですが、どうか香織さんと交際することを許していただけませんか?」


「そういう立派なセリフを口にするのはパンツをはいてからにしなさい。だいたいレイプまがいのまねをしておいていまさら交際云々なんてよくも言えたものね。警察に突き出されないだけありがたいと思いなさい。さあ、さっさと出ていって!」



「いえ、僕は本気です。彼女と一生添い遂げることを誓います。さっき、ちらっとしか見えませんでしたが、香織さんはふつうの身体ではないようでしたし……」

「ぎくぎくっ!」
「僕はきっと香織さんを幸福にします! ですから」
「……香織、例のことを知っている人間は他にいないんでしょうね?」
「もちろんよ、ママ」
「わたしたちの秘密を知られたからには生かして帰すわけにはいかない」
「な、なにをいってるんです?」
「冥土のみやげに教えてあげるわ。これが私達の正体よ」
「わあっ!」
「完璧な擬態だったはずだが。なぜばれたのだろう」

「(クリ○リスが3cmくらいあったらから「やった、当たりだ」と思っただけだったんだけど)なんなんですか、あなたたちは!?」


「われわれはレティクル座のホ星からはるばるやってきたホ星人だ。地球を半分奪うのが目的である」
「半分征服? ずいぶん中途半端なことをするんですね」
「征服ではない。半分いただくのだ。全部奪うのは宇宙環境保護法に反するからな」
「よくわかりませんが、半分奪われると地球はどうなるんでしょうか」

「愚かな地球人め。そんなこともわからんのか。地球の体積が1/2に縮小すれば表面積は1/6になるのだ。それはともかく、いいかげんにパンツをはいたらどうだ」


「(パンツをはきながら)そんなことができるんですか」
「できる。われわれの科学力を持ってすれば容易なことだ」
「ふっふっふ。それはどうかな……?」
「何者だ!」

(続く) ← 嘘

 

powerd by にがおえぱれっと

|

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Comments

第2話の構想はできてるんですが、われながらあまりのくだらなさに書く気が失せてます。人格疑われるのも心配だし(^^
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